![]() ![]() I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. Once, when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasureable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!! 12. As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch For Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch For _Pretty_ Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a Get any book for free on: 2 DEEP THOUGHTS simple letter ! And I thought I was lazy ! 11. The most dangerous animal is a shark riding on an elephant, just trampling and eating everything they see. Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the lion or tiger or even the elephant. I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes I bet you can really see it in those genitals. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad. Better not take a dog on the Space Shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up. If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." 4. If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy. It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. 1 DEEP THOUGHTS DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY Get any book for free on: Get any book for free on: DEEP THOUGHTS _ This should be the correct wording of Jack Handey's first collection of _Deep Thoughts_. ![]()
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